Apple Crowned King…

Oct 16, 2010 by

Apple has recently been crowned the King of stupid worthless updates. By whom you ask? By me. 
Why? Let’s rewind a little bit.


Yesterday? No.


Last week? No.


Last month? About right.

Following the release of comex’s JailbreakMe *star, and the PDF exploit panic that ensued, Apple released a small update. iOS Version 4.0.2. It fixes the exploit for iPod Touch 2G, 3G, 4G, iPhone 3G, 3GS, 4 and iPad. That left iPod Touch 1G and iPhone 2G users screwed. 

Later that day, saurik created his PDF patch. There. Problem solved. 

But, in the process, Apple’s servers got pounded by loads of angry fish screaming:

“OMFGOMFGOMFGBBQ I DON’T WANNA GET HACKED OMGOMGOMGOMGOMG I LOVE MY IPHONE SO MUCH DON’T TOUCH IT YOU NASTY HACKING HOBOS!!!!!”

And that resulted in the usual iTunes lag that pretty much matched iTunes download speeds to that of FileDude. A worthless update that was bad for everyone (considering how there aren’t any exploits /viruses/ using comex’s PDF exploit yet) to which Steve Jobs went home and said, 

“Boy, did I accomplish a lot today!”

One thing though, 4.0.2 was released right before 4.1 was. Therefore, I doubt it was useful as they could’ve waited an extra couple weeks to incorporate it into 4.1 instead of causing a huge inconvenience to everyone.


Now, Apple is going to release 4.1.1 [rumoured] weeks before the release of 4.2.

“WHAT????!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??! WHAT ARE YOU TALKING AOBUT???? WHAT ABOUT MAH  JAILBREAK IS LIMERAIN GON DIE WITH THIS UPDATE NONONONO JUST WHEN HE RELEASED IT IM SO SCARED OMGWTFBBQ I —“



Shut up. This update is going to address a small issue with Oceania iPhone users that have a glitch with the Clock app. A small worthless update that they could include in the next one that is coming very soon. Of course, they could roll out the update to Austrailian iPhone users only, but, as it is Apple, they’re going to release it to everyone.


Suspicions arise. What are they really doing? As you know, the SHAtter and Limera1n exploits are tethered. But why are they untethered? Because comex found a userland exploit that lets them become untethered. SHAtter and Limera1n by themselves are bootrom exploits meaning that the only way they could be patched is if Apple does something with the hardware. Userland exploits on the other hand are patched by Apple after about a week. [When the server pounding subsides]. This leads many people to believe that once 4.1.1 is released and subsequently 4.2, Limera1n is going to be tethered and then mass panic ensues.

“WTFOMFGDORA HOLY CRAP I LIEK BEING UNTETHERED I HATE YOU APPLE *slapslapslap* I DONT WANNT TO UPDATE I GOING TO PROTEST “APPLE WHY YOU NO LIKE US WE R KK GOOD BYE WYTF”????”

Yeah. Panic.

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