Why YouTube AutoShare Failed — Why No One Cares

Jan 29, 2011 by

Notice: This post was written to be half informative and half comedic. Any damages to self esteem or your emotions are not at the responsibility of the editor.

We’ve all seen it.

“I liked a video…” or “I just uploaded a video.”

To me, I find these tweets/Facebook messages similar to those from Foursquare.

“I’m at the Pizzeria.”

Every time I see these, one thing pops up in my mind. Why would I care?

Why would I care that you’re enjoying yourself at a restaurant while I’m eating leftovers?

Why would I care you like donkey porn trailers?

Why would I care that you just uploaded a video of your sixty-nine killstreak on Call of Duty?

I don’t.

AutoShare services were founded on the principle that your friends care about you and are interested in what you do on the internet (see: parents).

Such “exotic” principles do not apply in the digital world. See, when you’re on the Internet, you care about only a few things:

  1. Your boyfriend/girlfriend. Whatever your sexual preferences.
  2. Porn.
  3. Being a nerd.
  4. Playing games.

One question I have for you is: do you read every post you see on Facebook? Let’s say you hide all the spam from those Horoscope apps and those “1337 MILLION PEOPLE SAW YOUR PROFILE” posts and are just left with your friends feed. Do you still read all those posts?

No.

Why?

Because you don’t give a fart.

What your friends do on their personal time is not relevant to you; nor do you care.

Let’s move on to Twitter. Studies have shown that 71% of tweets are not read. Taking spam out of the picture along with #FollowFridays, #Ads, #TeamFollowBacks, and other useless crap, you talking about yourself is still ignored.

Let’s face it. No one cares about you.

Next social network: Myspace – wait. No one uses that crap.

Twitter and Facebook streams are bad enough without spam and crap.

Sometimes, you follow people out of respect; because they’ve helped you, etc. but you really couldn’t care less about their tweets.

I know I do that.

I come home every day, seeing my Twitter timeline because I couldn’t care less about my Facebook stream.

“Hi.” one tweets.

“TGIF!” tweets another.

Taking into account I follow about a hundred people and see four hundred tweets when I come home is becoming not managable.

Then.

Wow! Magical! Magnificent! Google releases AutoShare! Another thing we don’t give a rat’s ass about!

Damn, man I’d really love to see my Twitter stream filled with YouTube crap!

Oh my gosh! Bob likes “KATY PERRY IS SO HOT” and uploaded “I’d J*zz For You!”

And Jack likes “Man On Man” and uploaded “My sexual preferences!”

Dude. No one cares.

Why would you set up AutoShare anyways? Do you expect people to care; or is it because you want them to?

Tweeting about your new blog post isn’t that bad because it isn’t frequent.

For example, the average person likes twelve things on Facebook a day [source: my brain]. What would drive me nuts is if Facebook introduces a feature called Facebook AutoShare.

Suddenly you see Facebook, Twitter and blog posts saying “Lily likes this post:” and “Bobette liked this comment.”

Let’s face it, Mr. Corporate, you want clicks. Twitter and Facebook equals exposure.

BUT WE DON’T CARE.

If you’re going to be a d*uchebag enough to fall for schemes like this to provide free exposure at the expense of the time of users and the server resources of social networks, just click Unlink.

Google, you’re doing it wrong.

Facebook, don’t start doing it wrong.

Myspace, well, you need all the help you can get so you should probably start doing this.

Note: The opinions expressed in this article are solely those of editor-in-chief Dennis Fan. You should give him a follow at @Dennis_Fan.

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  • Anonymous

    I’m friends with someone that posts it to twitter and facebook, and then has their twitter post to facebook.

    • I know you’re talking about me, ass.

      • Anonymous

        Actually I wasn’t lol

  • DougW

    Interestingly, there is a Facebook “Like” option at the bottom of the article and we can “Sign Up to see what your friends like.” A bit hypocritical don’t cha think?